You are my treasure and my reward. Let nothing ever come before.
First \\ Lauren Daigle
God’s divine hand in all of this is so evident. In the 10 months I’ve been at home He’s worked millions of miracles behind the scenes. To name a few, I’m just so grateful that He provided me with several consistent part-time jobs, and blessed me with encouragement, not resistance, from family & friends as I’ve made plans to serve overseas for an extended period of time. He’s touched your hearts to partner with me in several ways, arranged travel details, opened doors I couldn’t have opened on my own. He’s basically laid the entire path for the next 6 months, giving me no reason to worry.
I really ought to be on my knees lifting high praises for the Lord’s provision and sustaining strength. I should be filled with the utmost wonder over the greatness of my God and overwhelmingly excited about the magnitude of God’s plan and my purpose within it.
But here I am, stuck again in an addictive cycle of busyness. It’s sad, I know. I’ve just about forgotten how to be still in His presence and bee awed by the marvelous nature of GOD himself.
This afternoon I did some reflecting on all the ridiculous hours I spent in the month of April simply pulling together all the physical details of my trip…. There’s really no issue with the packing itself, I mean for heaven’s sake I’m having to figure up half a year’s worth of “necessities”, I needed a big chunk of time to work on it. Yet this packing was/is so consuming that I’ve ignored much needed time to prepare myself spiritually. Jesus has not only been pushed to the bottom of the list, but that connection point has sadly become more of an afterthought rather than my #1 priority. I’ll sometimes read my Bible and pray only if there’s time left at the end of the day, though rarely with a heart of rest and seriousness about drawing near to Christ.
Ouch. It’s soooo unhealthy and I can definitely see evidence that my decisions have been taking a negative toll on my health and other relationships because Jesus hasn’t been FIRST.
Careful thought has been put into how to change this– I’m going to take about 6 weeks off from browsing the internet to refocus. WHAT?!! Oh goodness, after tracking my current habits you have no clue how super hard it’s going to be to give up. But it’s a good plan. I’m primarily doing this for three reasons:
- Like I’ve expressed above….to rearrange my priorities and make Jesus #1 again. Nothing’s more important than Him. Not only does He deserve full reign over the throne of my heart, but He also desires relationship with me (I still can’t comprehend His love to welcome us as friends like He does!), and I with Him. I’m so excited about intentionally seeking Him more!
- TO CLEAR MY MIND!!!! I’m seriously overstimulated right now. Cutting out internet for awhile will be an awesome way to get rid of the useless clutter I gather from wasteful video watching, Pinterest scrolling, and even blog hopping.
- I don’t want to make the same mistake I made last year. I connected with the life I left behind a bit obsessively and ended up getting distracted from my purpose for being away. That may sound a bit mean, perhaps coming across like I’ll get frustrated if you try contacting me while I’m overseas– NO trust me, that’s NOT my heart at all! I just realize the benefit of being fully present in Uganda, embracing little moments, giving my Acholi friends my full attention. So at least for the first month…no internet on my end. You can comment/email/text as often as you wish, and I promise I’ll start reconnecting again in early July (I’ll need you desperately!).
Check in again soon! For my NEXT POST I’ll be sending a short little update letting you know when I make it to UG– eek!! 🙂 . Aside from that I’ll be off the grid: disconnected, pursuing a greater Connection 🙂 .
See ya, friends! I love you! ❤